Sound of Music
by xXCabbageXx
Summary: Naruto, in need of money, reads an ad in the paper looking for a live-in babysitter for seven kids. What he doesn't realize is that five of the seven kids are hormonal teenage boys out for some ass. SASUNARU AU Adopted by Echo Uchiha
1. The Children

Sound of Music

**Summary:** Naruto, in need of money, reads an ad in the paper looking for a live-in babysitter for seven kids. What he doesn't realize is that five of the seven kids are hormonal teenage boys out for some ass. And the other two are just out for some ass.  
**Pairings:** SasuNaru (Main), MalesxNaru, FemalesxNaru  
**Estimated Length: **5+  
**Warning: **YAOI!! BOY ON BOY!! Don't like, don't read. UNBETA-ED!! And for everyone that's expecting it to end like the real Sound of Music, I'll just say so right now that it won't. In fact, the story will probably branch out after like, three chapters. Heh...that's why its AU!! Authoress's Universe!

**A/N:** I wasn't sure if I wanted to post this one, since I havn't exactly...thought out...a complete plot yet... but I decided, what the heck, I'll go ahead and post it. :) So, regardless of it's lack of preparation, please ENJOY!

Chapter 1

It was a sign from God, he knew it, and a very blatant sign to boot. Why else would this _particular_ newspaper with that _particular_ advertisement circled in red have flown in his _particular_ face? So obviously, it was a sign.

About time too, he needed a job and a place to live. The church that had taken him in was on wit's ends with him. If they weren't so religious and kind, they would have long kicked him out. Hey, it's not his fault he has a tendency to disobey, his attention span is extremely short, and happens to enjoy spraying nuns with water hoses!

But he knew he was too much to handle, especially for free. So he's made a heartfelt promise to the Reverend Mother, or Old Granny Abbess as he liked to call her; he would get a job to pay them back for three years of kindness and hospitality. And he never goes back on his word –unless you count the multitude of times he was told to behave and he put on a sweet face to fool them; but those don't matter, because he crossed his fingers!– especially one this important to him.

Yes, Naruto Uzumaki was a man of his word, and you better believe it!

Of course, Old Granny Tsunade, the Abbess, told him that she didn't want anything back for her kindness, but he's determined to make up for his troubles. Besides, she's become quite like a mother figure in his life and he wanted to show her he really cared.

And that is why he is now standing with everything he possesses in front of the huge mansion he's supposed to live in for the next year or so. Hopefully, the little tykes he's supposed to nanny are well behaved. And hopefully not stupid little babies; he preferred toddlers for they were the cutest.

Taking a deep calming breath, he looked around at the scenery. Jeez, this place was _huge_! How wealthy were these people anyways?! From the high towering walls and fences to the green shrubbery growing in luscious bunches to the circle driveway behind the gate, this place was cranked out!

Inhaling another noseful of life-giving oxygen, he flung the gates open and ran up to the mansion doors before his nerves gave out on him. He wasn't sure if he was cut out for this job; normally, an eighteen year old teenage boy isn't exactly the best nanny...

Bracing himself, he put down his suitcase that was in his right hand and pressed the shiny white button that is clearly the doorbell. He rocked back and forth on his feet, his skin tingling in apprehension. Oh boy oh boy oh boy...

The door clicked and before he could steel himself, it was flung open to reveal... a sexy girl in a maid uniform.

Blushing, Naruto couldn't help but notice that her cleavage was completely exposed and the dress flared out to showcase slender legs clad in white pantyhose.

"Um! Uh, er, uhhh... Hi!" Naruto squeaked. To tell the truth, he hasn't been this close to any pretty lady before, and he was quite terrified of making of fool of himself. (Somewhere back in the abby, all the nuns suddenly felt the need to punch a blond.)

"Welcome! You must be the nanny!" The girl chirped, beckoning him in. Naruto nodded dumbly, picked up his luggage, and walked in stiffly. He tried his hardest not to stare down her chest, really! It just...wasn't working...that well...

"Please come this way." The maid started walking to a door to the side and opened it, ushering Naruto in. His jaw dropped at the sight of the well furnished room, with all the finely embroidered curtains, daintily crafted counters and its beautifully designed structure. It was incredible!

"The Captain will be here shortly," the maid said before leaving, closing the door after her.

"...Wow." Naruto whispered in awe to himself. The outside was nothing compared to the inside. If this room was already that beautiful, just imagine what the rest of the house looks like! Giggling excitedly, Naruto twirled around a bit, looking up at the brilliantly designed ceiling. Dizzying himself, he accidentally fell onto the rug covered floor in a heap of laughter, still staring at the amazing ceiling.

"Enjoying ourselves, aren't we?"

With a small gasp, Naruto sat up and looked to the source of the voice. It was a finely dressed man with a strong muscular structure, leaning on the doorframe with a grin on his face.

_Hmm, I imagined someone more strict looking than this smiling laidback guy..._ Naruto thought, but shrugged it off.

"H-hi! Nice to meet you, uh, Captain!" Naruto stood up hastily and walked over to the man, holding his hand out for a handshake. Grinning, the Captain took a hold of it and pumped it up and down heartily.

"I'm Hatake Kakashi. Captain Kakashi if you will. Or Captain Hatake. Or just Kakashi. Or just Hatake." Naruto furrowed his brow in confusion. "You know what, just call me whatever you want. Captain would be good."

"A-Alright Captain..." Naruto forced a smiled on, secretly thinking, _this guy's NUTS!_

Captain Kakashi pushed himself off the wall and stood up straight, sizing Naruto up. The blond only went up to his lower neck, and barely at that; his wild hair probably added a bit to his height.

"So, Naruto I presume?"

"Ah, yes, that's correct, I'm Naruto Uzumaki." Naruto bowed in greeting, hoping to start on the good side of his future boss.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I take it you know the terms of my job offer?" Kakashi tilted his silver-haired head back and peered down at Naruto who grinned back.

"Yes, I do. I believe that I just need to take care of seven delightful children while you work and stuff."

"...You can say that. Now normally, your age would be a problem. Eighteen, am I correct?" Captain Kakashi smirked at Naruto. Poor child, didn't know what he's in for.

"Er, yeah," Naruto said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

"But... I think we can make an exception for you. Besides, you come from a church, you're bound to be very responsible."

Naruto chuckled nervously, his eyes not daring to meet the Captains. "Heheh, sure."

"Come, I'll introduce you to my kids." Captain Kakashi beckoned Naruto to follow him out, which he did, lugging his bags with him.

When they arrived at the foot of the huge stairs that led to the second floor, the Captain stopped abruptly, Naruto almost crashing into him from behind.

Naruto looked up at Kakashi expectantly. Where _were_ his kids? It was unusually quiet for a house with _seven_ children.

Suddenly, Kakashi pulled out a whistle and blew into it, a loud tweet emitting from the small object. His ears still ringing from the massive whistle, Naruto stared weirdly at the Captain. What the heck was that for?!

But before he could ask him, Naruto heard footsteps. A stampede of them, to be exact. In a whirlwind of motion, he felt several bodies zoom past him while he just stared, shocked at the kids that appeared right in front of them in an orderly line.

Or should he say, mature teenagers.

"W-what the heck?!" Naruto exclaimed while looking closely at the tall...children. Dang, most of them were even taller than _him!_ Well, wasn't this awkward.

"These here are my children, Naruto."

Naruto could only stand there open-mouthed, still in shock.

"Well, children, introduce your selves! Name and age!" Kakashi gave another toot on his whistle.

Naruto watched as all seven kids straightened up and puffed out their chest. The one on the farthest end started marching and stepped up out of line. He had long black hair, super light eyes, and pale skin.

"Name's Neji! Age nineteen!" With that, he marched back in place. The one next to him then marched out. It was another boy with short black hair and a pale pointed face.

"Hello, I'm Sai. Age eighteen." He also marched back.

Next was another boy with fiery red hair and piercing green eyes.

"Gaara. Seventeen." Naruto felt shivers travel down his spine when his own bright blue eyes connected to his intense green ones.

Then it was a boy with black hair and black eyes, very similar to Sai except his hair was sticking up in the back stylishly. He gave a glare to Naruto, who coiled back in surprise, and marched up too.

"Sasuke. Seventeen. Fuck off." Naruto's eyes widened at the blatant display of hatred. Oh boy, this job was going to be harder than he thought!

Now it was a girl, with bubble gum pink hair and green eyes too.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Sakura! Age sixteen! But I'm almost seventeen!" She gave a dazzling smile to Naruto and stepped back in line. Naruto nodded to her politely, but gave another scared little glance to Sasuke beside her.

A boy with mangy brown hair then stepped up with a wolfish grin. "Heh, I'm Kiba. Sixteen." He winked at Naruto, who blinked confusedly, and returned to his spot in the line.

Last but not least, was a timid young girl with long black hair and light lilac eyes quite like Neji's.

"H-hi. I-I-I'm Hinata, n-nice to meet y-you. I-I'm f-fourteen." Naruto smiled at her warmly. With an eep, she stumbled back to her spot and started twiddling her thumbs.

With a nod of approval (after he glared at Sasuke), Kakashi shooed them off. "Well, you've met them. When you need to get them, just blow into this whistle." He then produced another whistle from his pocket and handed it to Naruto, who held back a grimace.

"Any questions?" Kakashi asked with a grin.

"Uh yeah. Why are they teenagers?" Naruto asked in a daze, staring at the piece of shiny metal in his hand. "I really thought they'd be babies..."

"Because they were born around sixteen years ago. So they _would_ be teenagers about now," Kakashi mocked lightly, that grin still in place.

"Not that, I get that. But...are they even siblings? I mean, I can see how Neji and Hinata are related, Sai and Sasuke, Gaara and Sakura too. But...did they come out in pairs or something? Not that that's possible, since their ages aren't the same... Huh..." Naruto kept mumbling to himself, scratching his head in confusion. Jeez, this family's gene pool was messed up.

"No, they're all my children." Kakashi spotted a maid in the corner of his eye. He cleared his throat to the maid, who hurried over with a cheery bounce in her step.

"Please take Naruto up to his room and show him around. I have to go now."

"Yes, Captain. Come, Naruto," the maid smiled gently and pulled the still mumbling Naruto along behind her. Kakashi watched them disappear upstairs before straightening his tux and going off to finish what he was doing before.

Naruto flinched slightly as he arrived in a long hallway. He saw three maids cleaning and dusting, chatting to each other.

_This family's weird...and that Captain...his eyes are different colors... And Gaara has a tattoo on his forehead...so does Neji...And Kiba has tattoos on his freaking face!.. Oh and Sasuke, he's scary!..._ Naruto looked up, staring at the back of the maid that he was blindly following.

..._and they have kinky maids all around the house..._ he thought, putting piece by piece together to finish the puzzle.

And his conclusion was... he's up for one heck of a job. _Oh dear Granny Tsunade, please let me survive,_ he prayed as the maid opened the door to his bedroom with a flourish.

* * *

TBC!! :)

Review! and tell me what you think! Personally, I'm not sure if I should continue this cuz i'm not that confident with how the rest will play out... but iono, you readers might think it's interesting enough... :) So REVIEW!!


	2. First Impressions

**Sound of Music**

**A/N:** Thank you guys sooooo much for the support! Even though i _still_ don't know where the hell this is going (i have a basic outline, but not really XD), I decided to just wing it! Aahahah, so, don't blame me for all the random things that are bound to spew out of this. :)

Chapter 2

It wasn't that he didn't like the room. It was, in fact, quite big...and...well furnished...and...traumatizing. _Very_ traumatizing.

But other than that, Naruto couldn't ask for a better place to live! If you ignored the blatant...words...on the wallpaper and only focused on the orange, it was like, _made_ for him! Though, he's never heard of Icha Icha Paradise before. It sounded...unholy. But, eh, what was he to question the captain's taste in wallpaper. Or novels, as this one was apparently. He could be some disgusting pervert for all he cared...though he hoped dearly he wasn't.

"Naruto!" a smooth voice purred out, startling Naruto from his musings. He turned towards the door, hands still holding onto his luggage. It was a girl; very familiar. He recognized her as one of the children. Hmm...pink haired...started with S...Sa something...Sakura? Hopefully that's it; it'll take him a while to remember all these names and faces; although he _did_ have a knack for this.

"Um, Sakura, right?" Naruto asked sheepishly, setting his bags down on the bed in favor of shaking the girl's hand.

"Yep, that's it!" She laughed, batting her eyelashes wildly; but that only made Naruto confused.

"Do you have something in your eye? Here, let me see," and he pulled a handkerchief out of nowhere and started dabbing at her face. With a huff and a slap to his hand, she whipped around and stormed out of the room, leaving an utterly confused babysitter behind.

_Tch. Children_. Naruto shook his head exasperatedly, ironically forgetting that he was basically one too. Letting whatever the heck just happened slide, he put the handkerchief away and resigned himself to unpacking.

sasunarusasunarusasunarusasunarusasunarusasunarusasunarusasunarusasunarusasunaru

_Tweeeeeeettt!_

Naruto jumped at the freakishly loud noise, dropping the last of his unpacked belongings onto the floor. He hurriedly picked them up and put them away, right when another loud whistle sounded.

_Twwweeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttt!!_

_Bang!_

Cursing, Naruto rubbed his forehead, which he just banged on an overhanging ledge. Trust him to obtain a severe injury, and on the first day of his job too.

_TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTT!!_

_What the heck is with him and his whistle?! _Naruto thought bewilderedly, but decided to just ignore it.

Faintly at first, but louder with each increasing second, a rumble could be heard roaring down the hall, reaching its peak right at his door then suddenly stopping. Confused, Naruto was about to check to see what was going on when his door flung open, whamming into the wall behind it and narrowly missing his nose.

"What the—"

"Hey babysitter!" Naruto looked up to see himself nose to nose (more like nose to chin, but he liked to imagine himself taller) with a boy who was leering down at him with a wolfish grin. Kiba, if he remembered right.

"...Uh, hi?"

"Come on! Father's waiting for you!" At that, Kiba pulled on Naruto's arm, effectively dragging him outside and down the hallways.

"What? For what?!" Naruto asked, bewildered, as he ran along with Kiba. Damn, this hallway was long!

"Didn't you hear the whistle?!"

Oh. Wait a second! "He's going to call _me_ with a whistle too?!" What did he think they were, dogs?!

"Well duh! How else?" They were now stomping down the stairs. Naruto could see the line of kids and the Captain standing right at the bottom.

"Eugh!" Naruto grunted as he finally pulled to a stop beside the Captain. "Yes, Captain? Did you need me?"

"It is now lunch time." Kakashi said sternly, taping the gold plated watch on his wrist. "We eat lunch at twelve o'clock sharp, no matter what; even if I'm not here."

Once again, he brought the whistle to his lips; Naruto braced himself for the shrill sound that's bound to follow.

_Tweeeeeeetttt!_

"Let's go, kiddos!" Kakashi then stalked towards a door off to the side, the teens marching after him in their unnaturally straight line. Feeling out of place, Naruto fell in step behind Hinata, who stiffened at the close proximity (even though they were a yard apart).

"Is he always like this? Whistling at everyone?" It was a peculiar way of calling kids.

Hinata nodded, shaking as Naruto drew closer. "U-uh, y-yes. B-but, don't t-think badly o-of him, h-he's had to r-raise us all by h-h-himself, and he d-doesn't r-r-r-really know what h-he's doing!"

"Sounds to me like he needs to find a girlfriend," Naruto smirked. Although he was slightly concerned with her speech impairment, he decided not to question it yet. There's a time and place for that, and it was not now, nor here.

As they filed into the dining room, Naruto took in his surroundings. Like every other inch of the house, this room was tremendously fancy, with intricate designs carved into the table that quaintly matched the curtains.

Kakashi sat himself down at the end of the table, and the kids all took their seats, leaving the last seat at the other end of the table open. Taking the hint, Naruto walked over to it and sat himself down, feeling uncomfortable as eight pairs of eyes watched his every move.

"So, Naruto, what do you think so far?" the Captain asked, breaking the silence.

Relieved he wasn't awkwardly sitting there with nothing to say, Naruto answered cheerily, "Oh, it's pretty good! I can't wait to get to know your kids better, and I just absolutely _adore_ my room!" He didn't mention the wholeIcha Icha Paradise thing just incase it touched a nerve.

"That's good, that's good." A few maids fumbled into the room, carrying trays loaded with food with them. They set the plates down in front of each person, serving the Captain first, then Naruto, then the kids from oldest to youngest; a very formal procedure that Naruto was not very familiar with.

Once everyone dug in, another heavy silence loomed above them. Naruto squirmed while slowly slurping his soup. Usually, when he was back at the abby, he'd be chatting with one of the nuns or pulling pranks on Old Granny Tsunade; never had he sat in such uncomfortable silence before.

So he decided to add some sound.

"So uh, what do you do for a living, Captain?" Naruto asked, putting down his soup spoon. He had finished most of his bowl anyways.

The Captain observed Naruto for a few seconds before wiping his mouth with a cloth. "I am the captain of a ship."

...Oh. That would explain the whole addressing him as captain thing. Heh...

"Ooohhh splendid! Where do you sail?" It wasn't his nature to be all fancy shmancy, but this situation called for some manners.

"Mostly rivers, sometimes in the Mediterranean."

"Mmm, I see..."

...And the silence fell over them again.

"Father, may I be excused?"

Everybody's eyes zoomed in on the speaker who was none other than the oldest, Neji.

"But you've hardly touched your lunch," Kakashi said, looking quite concerned.

"Yes, but I don't feel well," at that, Neji put a hand over his stomach and rubbed in circles, trying to look as sick as possible.

"Fine, you may be excused."

Smirking, Neji stood up, but not without winking secretly to Sasuke, who immediately knew what was going on.

"May I be excused too, father?"

Now Naruto and the rest turned to Sasuke, their eyes trained on him as he also pretended to be sick.

"Do as you wish, Sasuke."

With a nod of respect, Sasuke stood up and followed Neji out. Naruto watched as the two leave, confusion etched across his face. He decided not to voice his questions at the end, but only because he wasn't that familiar with these people yet.

"Wait! Can I go too, father?!" Kiba suddenly yelled. He seemed to have come to the conclusion that he wanted to join in too.

Kakashi gave Kiba a look, then nodded. He didn't feel like dealing with them right now.

"Sweet! I mean, uh, thanks father!" He hurried out too, accidentally slamming the door behind him. A "Sorry!" could be heard coming from the other side, before the pitter patter of feet died off into the distance.

"Father, may I be excused too?!"

"Me too, father!"

"Me three, father!"

"I'm sick too, father!"

Suddenly, a landslide of voices called out, all to be excused from the table. Naruto didn't know whether to feel sad or...sad about this whole thing. Did they not like him? Did they hate him so much that they wouldn't even sit at the table with him?

"CHILDREN!"

Everyone quieted down as the Captain yelled, standing up and slamming his hands onto the table. There was silence as the rattling plates finally stopped shaking. Each child looked up expectantly, fear in their eyes. They've never been yelled at like this before!

"You children..." he started, eyes glancing from one shiny face to the next. Naruto gulped as his own face was looked at too. "...are excused. Have fun!"

Everyone let out a loud sigh. Naruto almost laughed; who knew the Captain was such a joker?! Naruto really couldn't figure out his personality right now; he seems strict at some points, but other times he seems like a teen himself!

As everyone started filing out, Kakashi called after them, "Oh, and I'll be leaving tonight! I'll be gone for a week, so see you later kids!" And he walked out too, probably to pack.

Naruto, on the other hand, stood frozen right inside the door. His brain couldn't quite process what the Captain just blurted out. He was... going to be...left alone... with... these... horrible... teenagers?! WHY?! And on the first night too?! WHHHAATTT?!

Still pondering on how he'll survive this week, he slowly walked up the stairs towards the general vicinity of his room, since he kind of forgot where it was. He didn't notice the snickers, the _plop_ of something wet dropping into the back of his shirt, or the slimy feeling trickling down his spine.

Until it reached his pant line.

"EEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

Hoping on one foot and stumbling around on the other, Naruto scratched wildly at his back, trying to get _whatever_ was in it out!

"Gross gross gross gross groooosssss!" After another thirty seconds of fruitless clawing at his shirt, he realized he wasn't making any progress. The laughter at the top of the stairs only fueled his anger and clouded his judgment, and so, without another thought, he pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the ground.

Puffing from exhaustion (hey, freaking out took a lot of work, you know!), his chest heaving up and down with each breath, Naruto watched with taut squinted eyes as the _thing_ crawled out of his pile of shirt.

...It was a frog.

"YOU GUYS! THAT ISN'T FUNNY!" Naruto yelled at the top of his lungs and stomped up the stairs, eyes glinting with murderous intent. "I COULD HAVE ACCIDENTALLY KILLED THE FROG!!" And the Lord doesn't believe in killing!

...But Naruto was sure God would overlook a few homicide cases in this household, 'cause the guys that were currently running away like naughty children were going to _get it_, and get it _good!_

"COME BACK HERE! I'M GOING TO SPANK YOU SO HARD, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO TELL YOUR LEFT CHEEK FROM YOUR RIGHT!" Yes, he knows he's talking to grown teens, but at that moment, that's all he could think of to yell other than blasphemous curses.

"CATCH US IF YOU CAN, _NANNY!_" taunted a voice that sounded suspiciously like Kiba's. Growling, Naruto picked up his speed. He was going to show these kids a thing or two before he's done with them!

Somewhere downstairs, Kakashi heard the thumps and yells coming from above. He smiled. This caretaker so far has lasted longer than the previous ones, and from what he could gather, Naruto had enough spunk in him to at least last a week. Perfect.

Putting on a hat, Kakashi lifted up his baggage and headed to the front door, smiling. Without even looking back, he left, leaving the house to whatever doom would befall it the next week.

Oh well, wasn't his problem until he comes back.

TBC!!

**Replies (I still treasure ur review if i didn't reply, so keep them coming! i live on feedback! XD):**

_Leighbriel-Misokita- _I know what you mean, the fact that Sasuke's younger than Naruto irks me too, but you have to remember...in the manga, Naruto's like, 3 yrs older than all of them cuz he was held back 3 yrs XD At least here, he's only one year older! And besides, Sasuke's still taller, and still a bastard, so that makes him a pretty awesome seme :) hehe!

_ShEiLdEd-WiNgS-_ DEFINITELY SasuNaru. NaruSasu just...bothers me. I don't know why, but I CANT EVER imagine Sasuke as an uke. He's too proud to bend over for someone XD

_Emerald Eyes of Flame- _KakaIru? That is for me to know, and you to find out. Kukukukuu!

_hollowsmile-_ Well, when he got the ad, he thought he'd be babysitting little kids. And then, when Kakashi saw him and his bubbly personality (and his cute ass of course XD), he got this devious plot to stick him in with his naughty children. :) and besides, Naruto comes from a church so Kakashi thought he'd be more mature than his mischievous kids. :) hope that cleared things up a bit!

_kit onigri-_ Kiba's the only one flirting because all the other ones have yet to realize their feelings. But that'll all change verryyy soonnnn kukukuku! XD


	3. My Favorite Things

Sound of Music

**A/N:**Sry for the huge wait! I'm just...so bad at updating. Darn my laziness! Hope this chapter's intense humor is worth the wait! :D I'll try to update everything else within a week also. If not...you should PM me or something and yell at me to stop looking at other people's works and start working on my own. xD

Oh yeah, and thnx to those of you who told me Naruto's actually younger than everyone else in the series. Kinda weird, but i'll believe you guys. :)

Oh and, sry if i mix the order of things up, I don't really remember what order they went in in the movie... xD DEAL WITH IT!

**Edit:** Heheheh I forgot this wasn't in Japan and used honorifics. Darn. Well, that's what I fixed. :)

Chapter 3

Naruto plopped down on his bed exhausted, his heart thumping wildly. Who would've thought those brats would actually put up a really good fight...

Groaning, Naruto forced his torn and tired body to flip onto its back. He stared up at the ceiling, finally deciding to stop combating his current situation. Roving his eyes across the intricately detailed ceiling, he gritted his teeth in annoyance as that ribald Kiba's voice floated into his ear from down the hall, slightly muffled by the closed door.

"There's going to be a thunderstorm tonight, Hinata! You gonna pee in your pants again like last time?! Hahahahaaa!"

_Stupid Kiba, stop picking on poor Hinata!_Naruto wanted to go shout at them, but didn't have the strength. He had already chased them around the freaking large backyard half naked; he's through for the night.

"Hey Peenata! Catch me if you want it back! Hahaha!"

"K-K-Kiba! G-g-give him back!" Naruto heard the tiny squeak of the timid girl. His heart almost snapped in two when Kiba kept up his retarded jeering.

"Oooooohhh it's a _him_?! Peenata's got a crush on a stuffed animal! Hahahahaha!"

Naruto couldn't take it anymore. With a growl and a grunt, he heaved himself up and stomped to his door. Flinging it open, he walked outside right when Kiba was running by, a small stuffed mouse trailing behind him. Thinking quick, Naruto stuck out his foot about two feet high, effectively tripping Kiba who went down with a yelp.

"K-K-Kiba!" Hinata ran over, standing over the boy with a worried expression. Naruto smiled softly at her affections. You don't come across a girl like that every dynasty! (**A/N:**LOL quoting Mulan xD)

But sometimes you just couldn't stand so much kindness, especially towards an undeserving jerk like Kiba. Taking Hinata by the arms, Naruto led her away towards her room; after snatching her mouse from Kiba's loose grip, of course.

"Don't mind him, Hinata. You can't help a guy who trips over nothing." Naruto snickered to himself.

"Ehh? B-b-but..." Hinata's face suddenly boiled to a tomato red as she realized Naruto now practically had his arms around her. Behind them, Kiba could be seen propping himself up and glaring at the duo.

Naruto grinned and looked at Hinata, who stiffened. "What's his name?"

"W-w-what?" Hinata glanced back at Kiba, confused.

Laughing, Naruto shook his head, his mop of blond hair waving about. Pushing past Neji and Sasuke without a word, he clarified to Hinata, "No, not Kiba, silly! I meant this guy right here!" At that, he held up the stuffed mouse, which he just realized had the most adorable button eyes and stitched smile.

"W-w-well, I-I named him ummm..." Hinata turned red again and started up her habit of pushing her pointer fingers together shyly.

"Um? That's a weird name..." Naruto scratched his head, hearing the giggles behind him. Ignoring the stupid boys, he tuned his attention back to Hinata when she shook her head wildly.

"No! I-I-I mean, n-no, Mr. Uzumaki, I-I named him...Y-Yuki..." A cloud of steam escaped from Hinata's head as her cathartic name-blurting brought her emotional release. Sighing contently, Hinata gently took Yuki from Naruto's hands and hugged the animal.

"Mr. Uzumaki? What am I, twenty-five years old? Call me Naruto!"

"O-okay, N-N-Naruto..." Hinata smiled gently as the beautiful name fell across her rosy lips. She bowed to Naruto and quickly disappeared into her shared room with Sakura. Naruto scratched his head at the quick goodbye, but shrugged it off.

_Ah! Now a relaxing and revitalizing sleep!_Naruto started back, but quickly found him surrounded by three tall man-looking-teens. Rubbing his temples, Naruto tiredly questioned them, "What do you three want?"

"Well, Na-ru-to..." Kiba smirked, closing in on the blond. Suddenly, he found his shirt fisted by a puffed up Naruto who was glaring at the boy with intense blue orbs.

"Who said you could call me Naruto?!" He hissed out, giving Kiba the shivers as his breath ghosted across his jugular. Damn, did he _just_ notice how COMPLETELY sexy his nanny was?!

"But you just said-!" Kiba tried defending himself, pointing frantically to Hinata's closed door, his eyes never leaving Naruto's own sparkling ones.

"That was for Hinata. As for you three..." Naruto gave Neji and Sasuke each their own special glare. "You three can call me..." He let go of Kiba and raised his nose in the air proudly.

"...UZUMAKI THE GREAT!" And of course, he struck a superman pose just to complete the effect.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I see you are all dazzled by my awesomness, so I will leave you to ponder it! Pahahaha!" With that final statement, Naruto zoomed off to his room, making air whooshing noises as he "flew" haphazardly down the hall.

"..."

"..."

"...Is he sane?"

"...I'm not quite sure yet..."

sasunarusasunarusasunarusasunarusasunarusasunarusasunarusasunarusasunarusasunaru

Naruto was having such a beautiful dream. He was bobbing for ramen noodles! Mmmmm how tasty! He licked his lips, plunging his head into that delicious bowl once again, nipping at floating strings of delicious Japanese pasta! Ahhh this was heaven!

_KA-BOOM!!_

With a start, he shot up in bed, looking around wildly. What he saw was— he'll later testify—the second most scariest thing he's ever seen. A pair of white eyes right at his bedside.

"K-K-KKYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"KYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The monster also yelled, taking quick steps back.

Finally calming down and rubbing his eyes, Naruto wearily blinked at the shadow a few times. A streak of lighting lit up the room, revealing the "monster". To his surprise, it was Hinata, and she was...crying. Uh oh.

"I'm so sorry, Hinata! I-I didn't mean to scream!" Naruto jumped out of bed and rushed towards the frightened girl, bringing her into his embrace.

It didn't help. With a small "EEP!" Hinata fainted right into Naruto's arms.

"...Hinata? HINATA?!" With all his strength, he carried the girl to his bed, turning on a lamp on the way. He nervously leaned his forehead onto hers, trying to get a feel of her temperature.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU PERV?!"

Before he knew what happened, he was rudely shoved down onto his ass as a blur stood between him and his bed.

"What?! I'm not a perv!" He yelled, rubbing his butt soothingly. Darn it, that hurt! That blur sure was manly!

"Then why is Hinata on your BED?! You disgusting pedophile!"

Once his vision came back, he looked at the figure exasperatedly, identifying it as Sakura. "Pedophile?! We're like, only three years apart!"

"Four years, you idiot!"

"WHATEVER THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"

"THEN WHAT'S YOUR POINT?!"

"I'M NOT A PERV! I WOKE UP AND HINATA WAS JUST—"

"OH MY GOD YOU RAPED HINATA?! NICE JOB, OH GREAT NANNY!" The new voice burst in.

"Oh no, not you, Kiba!" Naruto had had enough of that kid for one day!

"YOU RAPED HINATA?!" Sakura now yelled, freaking out.

"NO! NOOO, I DIDN'T!!" God, what was _with_ this family?!

"Hinata was raped?" Everyone turned to look at the door. Neji and Sai were illuminated there, one with a slight frown on his face, the other looking a bit too cheery for this situation. But then again, Kiba already crossed the happy line by a mile...

"YES!" Kiba and Sakura both yelled.

"NO!" Naruto screamed in futile. No one was really listening to his explanation.

"Shut the hell up, morons."

Oh great, Sasuke on the scene now. And who was that behind him? Gaara came too? Splendid, the whole gangs here!

"I DID NOT RAPE HINATA!"

"EEP!"

Everyone looked at Hinata, who had just woken up and heard that beautiful announcement by Naruto. Her eyes started swirling and _plop!_ Down she went again, into the blissful land of unconsciousness.

"HINATA!" Sakura shook the poor girl roughly, everyone having crowded around the bed to witness Hinata's reawakening.

Slowly, the girl came to, blinking her big lilac eyes a few times.

"Hinata! Thank goodness you're okay!" Sakura gave the feeble girl a huge bear hug, then swiftly got to the point.

"Were you raped?!"

"Eh?! N-no!" Hinata's face heated up again, but thankfully didn't faint again.

"Oh. Okay then."

Naruto sighed, finally out of suspicion. He got up, and with a few pats to his behind, he walked over to stand beside Hinata.

"Why were you here, Hinata?"

At that question, Hinata started twiddling her fingers and mumbling incoherent phrases.

"...What?"

She gulped. "I-I was a bit scared...and was w-wondering if y-y-you were still a-a-awake..."

"Oh, were you scared of the thunder?" Naruto smiled down at the trembling girl as another loud clap accentuated his point.

Hinata nodded shyly, now playing with the edge of the comforter.

"Well, no problem! I'll teach you a little trick, okay?" Hinata blushed as Naruto gave her a wink and jumped onto the bed. Sakura also sat down, a bit interested, as did Neji and Kiba (who managed to stay silent all this time, what a miracle!). Seeing everyone else doing it, Sai also climbed into bed with his creepy smile still in place.

Only Sasuke and Gaara remained standing, skeptical of this whole shenanigan...

"Well?" Sakura prodded, curiosity getting a hold of her. Naruto leaned in, everyone following suit instinctively. Even Sasuke and Gaara tipped their gravity point to hear better.

"You have to..." Naruto had a dazzling smile on his smile as he spread his hands wide (and nearly hitting Sai who was right next to him). "...think of your favorite things!"

"Huh?" Was the collective response.

"For example..." Naruto took a deep breath and to everyone's surprise, starting singing.

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Brown paper packages tied up with strings; these are a few of my favorite things."

Everyone gave each other incredulous looks. Shrugging, they decided to watch the rest of Naruto's musical.

"Cream colored ponies and crisp ramen noodles. Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with poodles. Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings; these are a few of my favorite things!"

_Ramen noddles? Poodles? What?_ Everyone thought.

"Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes. Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes. Silver white winters that melt into springs; these are a few of my favorite things!"

_Damn, he's straight,_thought Kiba.

"When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad...I simply remember my favorite things! And then I don't feeeeeeeeeeeellllllllll!" Naruto took a pause here as he tried to catch his breath. "SOOOOOOO BAAAAAADDDDDD!!"

Into the mood, Naruto jumped off the bed and started dancing around, twirling around with the comforter and various objects in the room.

_Nevermind..._Kiba thought with a smirk.

After singing the same thing all over again, he finally stopped and looked at everyone else with a huge grin.

"..."

_Clap._

Naruto looked to see who clapped. It was Neji, who was looking dazed. Hehe, trust the freakishly long-haired guy to admire the arts!

_Clap._This time it was Sakura with a huge grin.

_Clap clap clap!_Hinata joined in with the two, as the applauding grew louder and louder, Sai, Kiba, and Gaara joining also. Only Sasuke was the stubborn idiot who refused to show that he was impressed by Naruto's singing skills. And where the heck did the orchestral background music come from?

"Thank you! Thank you! So, GO TO BED YOU IDIOTS! I need my beauty sleep!" With that, Naruto promptly shoved everyone out except Hinata.

After slamming the door, he turned to Hinata sweetly. "Do you want to sleep with me?"

"W-w-w-what?!" Hinata squeaked, gripping her hands.

"So you won't be scared! I see you've brought Yuki too! Um, this could be considered a uhhh... a uhhh... sleepover! Yeah!"

Hinata let out her breath she had previously held. "Okay, N-Naruto."

Naruto jumped back into bed, going back to his ceiling staring. He's been quite fond of doing that lately.

After a while, he just couldn't hold back his question any longer.

"Hey Hinata, do you think I'm doing a good job as a nanny so far?"

When no reply came, Naruto turned over to look at Hinata only to find her sound asleep, cuddling Yuki to her bosom. Smiling with the loving face of an aged parent, Naruto pulled the comforter higher up and then settled down himself.

Before long, the two were both off to very similar dream lands full of noodles and poodles and raindrops on roses.

--

TBC!!

**Replies:**

_ChibiesRevil-_ I wouldn't dream of not finishing this one! It's like, my favorite! xD So no need to worry about that, even if I go in a coma, I will write it subconciously! Mmhmm! :D Now speed I can't guarantee...

_cluelessninja65-_ So many questions I would love to answer, and so many I won't for your reading sake. :) But I can tell you this; Kakashi and the rest do have a history, and it's going to have a fairly big part in the plot later on :D

_DemonEclipse-_ SASUNARU LEGEND?! MOI?! :D :D :D :D!! ZOMG YAY!! Even though most of my stories haven't gotten to the SasuNaru parts yet...heheh...But I guess I could be classified as a Naruke legend. :)

_forevrlostinme-_ Oh sorry, was the summary a bit confusing? xD the grammar was bothering a bit too, but i gave up trying to fix it and still remain concise xD Well basically, "five of the seven kids are hormonal teenage boys out for some ass. And the other two are just out for some ass" means five of the seven kids are boys. and horny. and wants Naruto. xD and the other two that aren't boys are girls that want Naruto. :) So the only difference is their gender, see? xD

_goodemily547-_ Kukuku the molesting is almost here! Don't fret, my pretty! xD

_Ivvy-sama-_ :bites nails: I would love to really reply to you about Sakura, but I don't want to give anything away... stop tempting me! lol! xD

_kakaroshi-_ LOL well, if the readers think i'm funny, that's all i can ask for! xD personally i flinched at myself for typing it, but i guess i'm not such a big failure at humor! xD

_Bee Bop- _The next week will be filled with loving like you have never seen before. xD Not to raise expectations or give away anything...but lots of kiss stealing will be spread across the next few chaps :)

_skyglazingMaro-_ Mmmm shirtless Naruto! xD I'm jealous of those Hatake kids... :pout:

_sugarcult-xD- _Haha Gaara will most definitely be one of the fiercest competitors for their nanny's heart :)

_rglover- _That's childrens' specialty: torture. xD So of course, Naruto's gunna go through HELL before his babysitting job is over xD


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